Post by hermi on Jul 27, 2013 8:59:46 GMT
For those of you that have previously read my posts you will know that my home life hasn't exactly been a bed of roses since this w/d hell.
I am going to be honest because I need honest help and advice with this.
My husband is totally fed up. It was our anniversary on the 23rd July. He never wished me happy anniversary, I wasn't expecting a card or anything but he could have SAID it. I got him a card though. I was due in for work at 13:00 that day and by the time I left at 12:15 he hadn't opened his card. I put it in my drawer before I left..it's still there and he hasn't even asked about it.
It's not just that...the other day my youngest came home from nursery having had some photographs done. I bought them to download and downloaded them to my computer. I told him but he never even asked to see them. It's like he is distancing himself not just away from me but the kids as well. He knows this will hurt me more I think. I don't understand, he has always been a very hands on dad.
Basically the problem is this...
I work a lot of hours and I am completely exhausted on my days off. I do not do the housework as much as I should. I admit I suppose I have been very lazy. My husband is a tidy person and likes the house just so. He feels its unfair he is doing the majority of it. He says he is exhausted himself. To be fair he doesn't work as many days as me so I don't think its unfair of me to expect him to do more than me. The problem is on my days off I don't have the energy do to anything other than tidy the dishes I use in the day, the odd but of hoovering, once a week a totally clean the bathroom. I put the washing on and fold it up to be put away and that's about it.
I KNOW I have not helped. I don't need anyone to tell me that I have created this problem, and now I must live with the consequences. I COULD have tried harder when I realised this situation was brewing. I have no one to blame but myself for the trouble I am in.
Now he has taken this to a totally new level. He is accusing me of not doing the things I do do. Even my 6 year old had to stick up for me this morning and tell him that I had done the things I said I had done in the week.
Now he is refusing to do anything. Not only this he refusing to tidy/clean what he has been using, he is now purposefully creating mess just for the hell of it and I don't have the energy. This morning I had discovered he had put lots of odd things out of the bathroom cupboard (that were already put away) into the bathroom sink for no reason.
I folded a load of clothes for the kids the other day...I could put them away because they were in bed and I didn't want to disturb them. The next day (I was at work the next day as well) my husband had deliberately screwed them all up and put them into a basket...they now all need ironing whereas they didn't when I left them.
He won't speak to me unless its to have a go at me or moan.
I can't let him see that he is getting to me...I waited til he had left for work before sitting down and crying my eyes out. I am hoping that if he thinks he isn't getting to me he will give up on this mission he has created.
My in laws hate me too...goodness knows what he is saying to them. My mother in law sent an anniversary card an e-card. I emailed her saying thank you and asking how she is etc to be polite. I haven't had an answer. My sister in law hasn't even bothered. We were once so close. I am missing the friendship. Perhaps I am better off without judgemental people in my life.
I am going to be honest because I need honest help and advice with this.
My husband is totally fed up. It was our anniversary on the 23rd July. He never wished me happy anniversary, I wasn't expecting a card or anything but he could have SAID it. I got him a card though. I was due in for work at 13:00 that day and by the time I left at 12:15 he hadn't opened his card. I put it in my drawer before I left..it's still there and he hasn't even asked about it.
It's not just that...the other day my youngest came home from nursery having had some photographs done. I bought them to download and downloaded them to my computer. I told him but he never even asked to see them. It's like he is distancing himself not just away from me but the kids as well. He knows this will hurt me more I think. I don't understand, he has always been a very hands on dad.
Basically the problem is this...
I work a lot of hours and I am completely exhausted on my days off. I do not do the housework as much as I should. I admit I suppose I have been very lazy. My husband is a tidy person and likes the house just so. He feels its unfair he is doing the majority of it. He says he is exhausted himself. To be fair he doesn't work as many days as me so I don't think its unfair of me to expect him to do more than me. The problem is on my days off I don't have the energy do to anything other than tidy the dishes I use in the day, the odd but of hoovering, once a week a totally clean the bathroom. I put the washing on and fold it up to be put away and that's about it.
I KNOW I have not helped. I don't need anyone to tell me that I have created this problem, and now I must live with the consequences. I COULD have tried harder when I realised this situation was brewing. I have no one to blame but myself for the trouble I am in.
Now he has taken this to a totally new level. He is accusing me of not doing the things I do do. Even my 6 year old had to stick up for me this morning and tell him that I had done the things I said I had done in the week.
Now he is refusing to do anything. Not only this he refusing to tidy/clean what he has been using, he is now purposefully creating mess just for the hell of it and I don't have the energy. This morning I had discovered he had put lots of odd things out of the bathroom cupboard (that were already put away) into the bathroom sink for no reason.
I folded a load of clothes for the kids the other day...I could put them away because they were in bed and I didn't want to disturb them. The next day (I was at work the next day as well) my husband had deliberately screwed them all up and put them into a basket...they now all need ironing whereas they didn't when I left them.
He won't speak to me unless its to have a go at me or moan.
I can't let him see that he is getting to me...I waited til he had left for work before sitting down and crying my eyes out. I am hoping that if he thinks he isn't getting to me he will give up on this mission he has created.
My in laws hate me too...goodness knows what he is saying to them. My mother in law sent an anniversary card an e-card. I emailed her saying thank you and asking how she is etc to be polite. I haven't had an answer. My sister in law hasn't even bothered. We were once so close. I am missing the friendship. Perhaps I am better off without judgemental people in my life.
